- I'm in my father's class at my high school. He said this today:
- Him: As some of you may not know, I'm a feminist.
- class: *laughs*
- Him: No, really, I am.
- Class: *laughs again*
- Him: Why is that funny?
- Asshole: Because you're a man, and you shouldn't think that way.
- Him: Well why not?
- Asshole: I dunno that's just the way that is.
- Him: I'm a feminist because of my wife. She and I have the EXACT same job. Yet, I make more than her.
- Class: *laughs*
- Him: Why is that funny? Shouldn't women be paid equally as men?
- Same Asshole: No, they're supposed to be in the kitchen.
- Him: *slams fist on asshole's desk* Why?
- Asshole: Because that's how it is.
- Him: Why?
- Asshole: That's their job.
- Him: Why?
- Asshole: *can't come up with another answer*
- Him: I'm a feminist because my wife has the exact same job, gets less pay, and with that, I can barely support my three children. If she got paid as much as me, life would be a bit easier for all of us.
- *note, my mother is a teacher like my father*
- Him: Women gave birth to us, and now, here in the state of Michigan, they can't even have their own rights? It's 2014 people! Grow up or get out of my class.
- Class: *silence*
- Him: Now.. Louis XVI
- albus severus: dear mum and dad
- albus severus: i was in the library today
- albus severus: reading a book about previous heads of hogwarts
- albus severus: and i would just like to say
- albus severus: are you fucking serious
- albus severus: i demand a name change immediately
- albus severus: just literally anything else please
- albus severus: fucking dobby kreacher potter for all i care
- albus severus: sorry for swearing i just
- albus severus: bloody hell
- albus severus: yours sincerely,
- albus severus: aragog fang potter or some shit
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)"